Women… how did you get better at pleasing women?


What pressure! Now I know how men feel!

I was a bottom when I hooked up with women in the past but as a swinger I want to please the women I’m with.

How did you improve those skills? 👅


  1. Nita Hartley has some good informational videos I’ve watched. I consider myself SUPER bi and I still had to watch them. You would think a woman would know what a woman wants. But half the time we don’t even know what we want.

  2. Women are individuals. They’re different.

    When you’re with a woman, tell her that you think it’s so hot/sexy/attractive when a woman is direct and tells you exactly what feels good.

    Then in the moment, ask, “does that feel good? do you want it harder/deeper? direct me ;)”

  3. Communicating! I think it’s important to have a conversation about what people like and also to follow non-verbal cues (moans, shaking, etc.). Also, sometimes I imagine what I want from partners and try that.


    I think practice leads to confidence, as well, which makes a huge difference

  4. Not a woman here, but I’ll share our experience with our former unicorn. She had magical oral skills (for both sexes, actually). Our female half takes quite a bit of work to reach the peak. After many, many years, I’ve gotten pretty good at it and rarely fail to get her there. Our former unicorn, however, could get her there far fast than I (or anyone else for that matter) ever could. We always asked her how she did it and all she could ever tell us is she’s good at reading bodies. Experiment here and there, then see what kind of reaction she got.

    The point was (as others have pointed out), every woman is different. There’s no recipe to oral skills. Have a good mix of things to try, but then it’s about seeing how that person reacts.

    Incidentally, this is why we much prefer repeat friends to one night things. The sex gets so much better as you learn about a person.


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