What do you mean you’re not Bi? Your profile says your a single male.


A little backstory, I am a single guy swinger live in the Pacific Northwest. Which has a rather large bisexual community.

I use a Hotwife dating site to meet the many lovely folks and spark up some wonderful friendships.

It clearly states on my profile as “Straight”.

Yet once a month I get the following messages.

“I’ll let you play with me first and then you can have my wife”

“Would you like to get together and jerk off to my wife porn.”

“You must please me first, my mistress demands you serve us”

Or my personal favorite.

“I want to surprise my wife with her fantasy of two guys and her only watching”

When I politely decline, most are reasonable, but a recent inquire was baffled that a straight single male was using a swinger dating site. Because I wasn’t a BBC, I must be Bi.

I told this fellow I was neither and I’m mostly just a friendly third party that takes part in Gangbangs or Greedy Girl events.

Then he will ask “Have you ever been bi-curious?. I usually respond “Sorry, not interested” and immediately get called out for homophobia.

What always makes this odd, is it’s usually the male half that contacts me and not the wife. So has anybody else ever had such strange thing happen them?



  1. Well, I certainly get a lot of similar stuff as a straight woman. I have zero interest in other women as sexual partners. I wouldn’t mind teaming up with another woman to wreak havoc on a couple of dudes, no girl-on-girl for me thanks, but we get the same kind of stuff from couples all the time, just switch the genders.

  2. We would have to read your profile to know what might trigger these messages, but honestly, once a month is like nothing. It’s not like it’s 20 times a day.

  3. > So has anybody else ever had such strange thing happen them?

    I have had similar things happen:

    * After meeting a couple my SO talked to me about how the husband was really confused as to why I didn’t have any bi “tendencies” at all.

    * I was chatting with the male half of a couple online and he kept professing how straight he was but one of his questions was “would you be ok if I blew you?”. I told him that I was flattered but I already had my experimental phase (truthfully) and that I found that I had no interest in men.

    * I was actually part of the “two guys doing stuff for two women” experience. I had no leanings one way or another at the time and I figured it would get the women excited (and might do something for me too) so why not. It did nothing for me and that was that.

    I have to wonder if the bi “stigma” in the lifestyle (and maybe among men themselves) is causing this odd “on the down low” (I think that’s what it’s called) kind of behavior.

  4. Haha. Wouldn’t be surprised if there actually isn’t a wife behind door #1, just the ‘husband’ whose ‘wife’ is away on business.

    I’ve never done the single male thing in the lifestyle, but going on the typical dating sites when I was single — Every once in awhile I’d match with a girl who… would sound a lot like a dude in how they conversed. Then my brain would click in and I’d consider that I’ve never heard a woman call me a stud or ask for an ass pic. But I digress, point is, some dudes do strange shit online.

  5. Don’t feel bad man, I’m a BBC and I get bi inquiries all the time despite having on my profile that I’m straight.


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