Threesome Advice Needed For 29 F For Bisexual Fun With Friend And Hubby

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threesome

I (29 F) have been asked by a friend and her husband (both late 20s/early 30s) to sleep with them. I’m tempted but entirely out of my depth. What warning signs should I watch out for?

I really want a sexy fmf threesome though 🙂

I recently got back in touch with an old (female) friend of mine who moved into my city a few months back with her husband (job relocation). I used to occasionally sleep with her back in college ( as a FWB situation, not a romantic one) and we were very good friends even when dating other people. However, we fell out of touch after we went on our separate directions after college till a few months ago. We have since met up, she’s introduced me to her husband, and I’ve had lunch/dinner with them a few times over the weekends and we’ve all connected well as friends.

My dilemma is that a few days back, she approached me and asked if I would be open to sleeping with them. They had apparently been talking about opening their relationship for a while, and she suggested my name. I’ve asked for some time to consider. I’m tempted to take them up on their offer (I find both of them attractive), but would love to get some advice on how to approach any potential pitfalls of swinging or problems as this is something completely out of my depth. I don’t want to end up in the middle of some relationship squabble down the line. Thanks for reading and for helping me navigate these waters.

I hope he can satisfy two women at the same time. 🙂

21 COMMENTS

  1. This is a good question and a little different from the norm. Most people who open their relationships would warn against sleeping with friends or introducing a friend into their sex life. However, since you and your old friend have a history together and you kept the feelings out of the sex, you may have the emotional intelligence to do the same with her husband. That being said, proceed with caution.

    Before doing anything,
    – Get to know him better and gauge the dynamic. Will this be drama waiting to happen?
    – Talk about rules and boundaries. Perhaps only you and your friend play while he watches?
    – Talk about what happens if it doesn’t work or if someone gets too attached. Will this ruin the friendship?

    Personally, we would never entertain this type of hookup but you are your own person and you should listen to your judgement.

    Good luck!

  2. Make sure you guys discuss rules and boundaries, if any apply, all together. I had a friend that did this and it ruined her friendship with them. She then did it with us and we still remained friends and had no problems, but we laid out rules and boundaries first. The other couple did not.

  3. In general, think about the breakup before doing anything. If the worst case happens will you be ok? If not, don’t even bother thinking about all the other details.

    To minimize the chance of the worst case happening, you want to make sure their relationship is drama free which isn’t really easy. Most couples hide the drama well. To get a better understanding of the situation you can ask a few probing questions.

    Why are they seeking a single female and why not be open to a couple? Some couples new to opening their relationship have jealousy issues preventing them to feel comfortable with another man joining.

    What would be the rules & boundaries? Some couples like to use a single female as a sex toy and not as a teammate. Be on the lookout for one sided rules. Ask about kissing and if you are free to do anything with anyone. Is this only bifemale action or a free for all? Don’t be afraid to make your own rules and boundaries.

    What about safer sex protection? You’ll want to ask about that.

    What about communication? Group only or solo texts & calls are ok?

    What happens if one of them falls asleep or is too drunk? Can you play with just one if the other is or is not in the same room?

    Think about the day after. Are you going to sleep over at their house? Spend the night in a shared hotel bed?

  4. Personally, I would suggest they try to do something like this through an alternative route with a stranger. Whether they meet someone at a bar, use a website for such opportunities or any other means. I don’t think their first time should be with somebody as close as you. if they meet with a stranger and things go well and they feel comfortable doing it, then they can always come back to you, but the opposite, would be they try with you, things go bad and everybody is uncomfortable after the fact and worse yet it ruins a friendship.

  5. Agree sleeping with friends in out for us normally but since you and her did this before it might be ok this time ….. the only difference is the husband….. which could add a complication if she has an unforeseen bit of jealous due to her husband sleeping with somebody else. These situations can be tricky and sometimes jealousy can pop up at any time.

  6. Honestly, I’m usually the first person to warn against making swingers out of friends, but this situation seems ideal.

    You guys are close enough to have already established a bond / intimacy, but aren’t close enough to where if things didn’t work out it would significantly impact you. If the friendship is worth risking, I see no issues.

    I’d go on a few no-play dates to gauge compatibility, talk about desires, and see if you’re in alignment.

  7. As a couple who does that from time to time, go for it!

    Just talk a lot about it before (not on the same day), even if it feels “unsexy” to discuss, it’ll make everyone more comfortable knowing what’s on the table, what the expectations are…

    If anyone doesn’t feel 100%, you could all start with an easy first time, where maybe only you and your female friend play around and he plays with her… you get the idea.

    I really recommend diving in! Enjoy your sexy bodies 😛😊

  8. I think it sounds like an ideal situation. If you are to be one of their first, it says they feel comfortable with you. You already have history with the woman too, which can be better than a compete stranger.

    Don’t be scared. Swinging, open relationship, etc, are far more common than you might imagine. You’re what they call a unicorn. A single bisexual woman is rare, and what many couples are hoping to find. You could have a great time in the swinging world.

    My one suggestion is to meet with them for dinner and have a very open discussion. Ask about everything, their relationship, why they want to do this, how they imagine the event unfolding. Ask about fantasies, and definitely limits.

  9. Having been in your shoes I would just like to say that you should cater to the female. In my experience I have had wives get jealous if their man got too much attention or if they felt their man was “too into” the other woman.

  10. Sit down and really think through what you want – don’t judge the thoughts, just write them down. After you’ve really listened to yourself try to separate what are truly your thoughts and feelings from those voices in your head that aren’t yours (parents, friends, church/religion, etc…). Try to clarify these things and make sure each one truly resonates with you and how you feel. Write down this finished list of your “terms”. Then, have a discussion with the couple about your term and allow them to agree to them or reject them. If they agree to you terms then you’re free to enjoy yourself. If things go sideways for some reason you’ll know exactly how you feel and you will have communicated clearly with them in advance and any bad feelings are their responsibility. Also, people get weird when sex and emotion get involved – even if you do everything right are you willing to lose this friend for an experience? This could happen, weigh the cost, then decide. Above all be safe and have fun!

  11. Seems like the perfect opportunity. You aren’t real close friends, but you have a history, so you are good that way. If you like him, then I would sit down with them, share a bottle of wine and talk about boundaries, and dive in. The worst that could happen is that you lose a friend that you haven’t been in touch with for years, and probably thought you’d never see again. Pretty much all upside, if you ask me.

  12. Always be clear of your intentions. Make e sure they both know this is a physical and sexual thing nothing more. It relieved the tensions and fears that you would try to take one of them away. If you feel uncomfortable at any time make sure you voice it. You can’t hold back anything. Other than that enjoy yourself and try to get out of it what you are looking for

  13. Great advice so far. We only play with couples, so no personal advice. I will say from reading about others experiences, as a unicorn you can get anywhere from NSA sex to the couple trying to convince you to have their baby. (No, seriously, I read that). Not suggesting that is where they are headed by any means, but just watch out for too many emotions, if you are wanting to avoid them. I might also suggest planning to sleep separately or heading home after play.

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