How do you go from dinner and drinks to the bedroom?


My (29m) wife (29f)and I are still pretty new to the swinging LifeStyle. We’ve had one soft swap and a full swap with a different couple that didn’t go so well.

We’ve got a date with a new couple in a few days, and I want it to go well. We’re all in a group chat and have been exchanging messages and pics for the past few weeks , and they seem really fun and sexy.

The messages and pics have been pretty racy stuff, but I’m not sure if they’re trying to play the first time around. My question is for you more experienced couples, how do you go from dinner and drinks to their place or a hotel?

What do you say? Should you not say anything at all and just wait for them to make the move? I’m interested in hearing everyone’s approach.


  1. When the dinner and drinks naturally start to wind down, say “would you guys like to continue the evening?” It doesn’t have to be any more sly than that. You all know why you met.

    Now, if they’re like us, they may say “not tonight. Next time.” We don’t tend to play first time out. But many will take you up on the offer.

  2. Several ways to go about it:

    – upfront before meeting: “if we click, and we all decide to play, where should we go?”

    – at the beginning of the dinner: “we think you are super sexy and I think we’d like to play with you after dinner, but is it ok if me and my wife we have a chat in private at the end of the dinner to make sure we are both in agreement?”

    – at the end of the dinner: we’d like to take 5 minutes to regroup before asking you to go play with us at home. Is that ok?

    – during dinner, girls go to the bathroom together and decide what to do. “You guys are so great. I feel we could get along great. Do you all want to grab another drink with us at home / at your hotel? Then we can play if you feel like it?”. Ok, let’s tell the boys what the plan is.

    – during dinner, guys go to the bathroom and decide what to say to the girls “hey, I think we’d like to play with you guys. Do you feel the same? If yes, where? Ok, let’s talk to the girls about it”

  3. We’ve tended to do the transition: “do you want to have a drink at our place?” or “do you want to get a hotel room?”
    We rarely play on the first date unless we are on vacation because the pickings are so slim where we are that we’ve tended to like to talk afterwards to make sure there’s really a connection. The texting and chatting is worthless to establish in person chemistry. We’ve had some where we thought we’d love each other and it was abject misery, so we don’t put much faith in the chatting to tell us what will happen.


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