Are singles really ‘swingers’?


Not trying to be elitist or anything.. just curious by the use of the label really.

Me and my wife have often been to sex and fetish clubs where we’ve met single guys who introduce themselves as swingers, which is always a little jarring. In the past I’ve even asked “where’s your partner?” and they quickly said “oh, no, I’m single” and/or “I’m here on my own.”

It just raises an eyebrow with me. Surely if you are single you aren’t a swinger because you can have sex with whomever you like.. just like every other single person out there.

Ahh semantics.


  1. They may not be in a relationship at the moment. I’ve met people who were single but identified as polyamorous so when they got into a relationship it’s not hard to get into swinging.

  2. Howdy, I am one of these guy’s. When I go on dates I being up swingning and threesomes early on because i dont see myself with somone who would not be up for an orgy.

    I guess swinging is the closet descriptor to my sexuality. Like straight douse not quite cover it

  3. Not in my view.

    Swinging to me is something between a committed couple. When we swing its not me I worry about but her. If I get rejected I’m resigned to it, but if she does I hurt for her, shes my special one. I love seeing her have a good time and I love what it does for our relationship. It was the best risky move we made.

    But there is no risk, no bond, no give an take if you are a single, you are just a dude. Hell I’ve overheard a few single males at events not knowing I could hear them, and they were just “lol easy pussy lol”. But even if I were to become a single male in swinging (I wouldn’t) I’d still just be a sexy toy and maybe friends with a couple, but not a swinger.

  4. Single swingers and solo polyamorous people exist.

    Swinging just requires partner swapping by some degree. One doesn’t necessarily need to bring a partner to engage in partner swapping.

  5. This sounds scarily like one of those gatekeeping threads. I have seen things like this on the poly subs. The poly police can be pretty prejudicial.

    People define themselves how they see fit. That is their right. You can decide if you want to engage with them, which is your right.

    If someone has any feelings regarding another’s subjective definition then the issue really lies with the judge.

  6. Who cares about the label. We go to swingers clubs just so that my wife can fuck single guys.

    Why get carried away with labels ? It is weird to me that guys that fuck her ask her questions like,”How long have you be a whore?” and “Does your husband mind that you are a slut ?” but seems to enjoy fucking her.

  7. A swinger is not defined by their marital status. A true definition of swinger is a person who has a sexually free spirit and engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.

  8. I have heard this so many times over the years from husbands, and then when those husbands become single, they sure change their tune quickly.

  9. My question is why does it matter?

    People like to impose their favourite definition on words. However different people see things differently.

    How about letting people define themselves the way the feel best and looks at the details rather than the labels?


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